i've been wanted to write for a while now

man. a lot has happened since i last time i've blogged, xangad or whatever. so many ups and downs happened, but really it worked out for the better. i have so much to say but everythings all mushed up in my lil head. its all a mess. forgive me im not a very good writer, hence thats why im a biochem major. but yea since the last time i wrote anything, i took a break from school, i started working full time at eBio, i went to the philippines, and i've just recently quite the movie theatre. and those are just the real big things i can remember.

so lets start off with school. because of all the other stuff that happened last year i just kept messing up this year, so i really had to take a break from all that spring quarter before i would get kicked out of school. and really, i dont regret it at all. taking a break from school, although it set me back a quarter, has giving me my drive back...the drive i needed in the first place to just finish school and....even care about it. and of course that led to working full time at eBio since i wasnt going to school. and i really like it...it sounds weird but i like working the whole 9-5 shift...well i dont really work 9-5 but you know what i mean. it makes me happy to work and in turn makes me wanna finish school so i could just start working for some real money.

then i went to the PI, the motherland, or whatever you wanna call it. going there, i was soooo excited. i havent seen my cousins in 6 years. while i was there i loved being surrounded by my cousins...my actually cousins, not my seconds cousins, or family cousins, but my actually first cousins. and being the oldest cousin on my mom side, i felt it was my duty to make sure them youngin's were doing ok, going to school, and taking care of each other. but i think the best feeling was being able to buy them whatever they wanted cuz of all the money i saved up from working. damn that felt good. but of course, being the family that we are...there was never ending drama...seriously. it was rediculis. but it wasnt within my cousins, thank god. other than the drama, my vacation was great. its weird, but there is a part of me that feels like i belong there, but i know that this is my home. i just hope that one day at least a couple of my cousins will be able to visit if not live here with me cuz let me tell you, we are not a rich family.

and now just last saturday july 30, 2005 after working for 5 years, i finally got the courage to quite the movie theatre. it was so weird. i just wished that all the people i cared about were working with me that night. but thanks to everyone else who was there to celebrate my last nite at edwards cinemas. i will never forget all the crazy memories and antics that we all did there. easter egg hunts, hide and seek, sneak previews, taco tuesdays, shit talking, paparazzi, exxxtreme team, and drinking.

there really is a lot more that i wanna write about but i cant put it into words. since all these things have happened i've come to realize that there is a reason for all that mess and god helped me to find it. yes people despite the way i may act or shit i may say, i am a deeply religious person and i prayed to god to help me get through this crazy part of my life of instability. never take things for granted, always enjoy life, take what you can get and be happy that you got something at all. love your family, love your friends even when they do mess up because one day theyll realize you were there for them when they needed you. its all very cliche but it is really true. trust me i know